Stalkercalifragilisticexpialidangerous
by pdljmpr6
Summary: An old friend comes to town and Shawn is convinced she's in danger. Gus isn't so sure, but is along for the ride anyway.


**A/N: **My first 'psych' fic, though i'm a huge fan of the show (own S1 and S2 on dvd) and read the fanfic all the time. I started writing this a while back and have finally decided to start posting. My muse is apparently tired of NCIS for right now so I thought I'd start something different to see if she opened up a little. I'm starting this fic as a tag to my favorite flashback, the one at the beginning of S3, when Henry arrests Shawn. Reviews are to me what pineapple is to Shawn. -pj

**Disclaimer: **Not mine, but I do so enjoy playing with them.

* * *

_1995_

_"I can't believe it." _

_Shawn looked up and through the bars of the holding cell, flipping his hair out of his eyes._

_"Steph! You look great!" Shawn said over-enthusiastically, blatantly checking his friend out from his reclined position, "little black dress, black strappy sandals. Allow me to compliment you on a classic choice." _

_Stephani ignored his remarks, pushed her nearly waist-length straight brown hair behind her ear and put her hand on her hip, "I can't believe your dad arrested you. Actually...no, that I can believe. What I can't believe is that you _let _yourself get arrested…by your dad!"_

_Shawn's grin deflated, "What can I say I'm everything a father never wanted," he sat up on the cot, "and what do you mean 'let myself'? I'll have you know that I left no evidence whatsoever, the man's got a sixth sense or a third eye…or a tracking device hidden somewhere on my person, which wouldn't be that surprising." _

_"Shawn-" she began in that bargaining tone._

_"Don't, Steph, okay?" Shawn held up his hands and shook his head, looking serious for the first time, "you can't fix what was never whole in the first place. Me and my dad…" he sighed, frustrated, "we just…it's always been this way, okay? It's never gonna be different. Especially not after this." He gestured around his cell._

_Stephani stopped looking annoyed that she'd been called away from a very enjoyable date, and her expression changed to concern. She opened her mouth but hesitated. _

_"He loves you, Shawn." _

_"Yeah, I'd agree with you but Big Mac here," he pointed to a very large, bald man in a leather vest in the next cell, "has made me his bitch and I'm not allowed to say that word about other people," he smiled disarmingly and Stephani rolled her eyes._

_"That mouth of yours is going to get you in trouble one day."_

_It was Shawn's turn to roll his eyes, "Going to? Where have you been for the past seventeen years?"_

_"Shawn-"_

_"Just get me out of here, will you Steph? You're stalling because you don't want my father to catch you. You're worse than Gus." _

_Stephani narrowed her eyes, "I don't really care what your father catches, Shawn. And if I annoy you so much why didn't you call Gus instead of me? Or your mom for that matter, Lord knows she'd give your dad an earful over this little stunt."_

_Shawn let his head drop back against the cool cinder block wall, "Gus is out of town scouting colleges with his parents and my mom left for Canada today." _

_"She left already?" Stephani asked, her anger dissipating at this revelation, "I thought she was going to wait until you started school next fall?"_

_Shawn just shrugged, his eyes closed. Stephani sighed. _

_"I'll be back." _

_"Okay, I'll just wait for you here."_

---

Present Day

"All I'm saying, Gus, is that there are worse things in the world than a blind date." Shawn coaxed his friend. He sat with his back to the Psych office front door, tipped back in his chair with his converse clad feet up on his desk and tossing a miniature blue and green basketball into the air.

"I'm not dating a circus person, Shawn." Gus stated resolutely, barely glancing up from his laptop where he was doing research or filing reports or something else Shawn considered to be far too boring to be taking up precious beach time during the day.

"She's not _just_ a circus person Gus, she's a contortionist."

Gus looked up, deadpanning, "is that supposed to appeal to me?"

"She can lick her own elbow," Shawn said in an exaggerated whisper, "_awesome_."

"It's impossible to lick your elbow, Shawn."

Shawn shrugged, going back to tossing his ball in the air, "not for Twisted Trixie it isn't."

Gus rolled his eyes and started to look back down at his laptop when he spotted a woman silently coming through the door and slinking into the office. He smiled, but didn't say anything when she held a finger up to her glossy red lips and shook her head.

Then, placing her hands on her hips, she looked at the back of the resident psychic's head.

"Shawn Michael Spencer. Of all the nerve, passing yourself off as a diviner of the spirit world."

Shawn jumped at the voice and dropped his ball, not having heard anyone come in, and whirled around in his desk chair. His eyes widened at the sight that greeted him.

"Stephani?" his face broke into a grin at the sight of the tall, brunette woman. She wore white flip-flops, hip hugging jeans that made her legs look miles long, a white tank top and a light yellow sweater. He jumped up from his chair, wrapping the woman in a strong hug, "Steph what are you doing here?"

She smiled, "I just got back. Decided to look you up." She raised an eyebrow and pointed at the front window where 'psych' was written in huge green letters, "a psychic detective Shawn? People actually buy that?"

Shawn's mouth dropped in faux disbelief, "You, Stephani? A skeptic?" He clapped his hand over his chest, "I don't know if I can take the rejection," then, recovering completely, he pointed at her with both hands, "actually, I'll have you know, I am completely legit, I work with the Santa Barbara Police Department," then he pointed to himself and grinned widely, "I'm a psychic."

Stephani crossed her arms and smiled, "you're a con-artist with a photographic memory."

Shawn looked to the side thoughtfully, then shrugged, "I've heard it both ways."

Stephani shook her head, laughing and Gus came up behind Shawn and cleared his throat, loudly.

"Gus!" she grinned widely and jumped around Shawn when she went to hug him, "Oh my God it's been so long. How are you, what are doing with yourself…aside from committing fraud against the SBPD?"

"I work full time as a pharmaceutical salesmen," he glared good-naturedly at Shawn, "and the fraud was all Shawn's idea."

Stephani nodded, looking over, "of course it was."

Shawn put on his best 'who, me?' face and then tried to look offended. Stephani and Gus just shook their heads.

"Not buying it?" Neither Gus nor Stephani spoke so Shawn dropped it, "So, seriously Steph, where have you been? What have you been up to?"

Stephani opened her mouth to unload the whole story, but was interrupted by a voice at the door.

"Shawn? Gus? You in here?"

The woman's eyes widened, "is that your father?" she whispered urgently.

Shawn just nodded and turned to call to the door, "in here, dad." He turned back around, only to find Stephani gone and Gus giving an odd look to the other side of his desk.

"There you are," Henry entered the office wearing a loud red shirt and a ratty baseball cap. Gus and Shawn both turned to look at him, ignoring the figure hunkering silently behind Shawn's desk.

"Oh god Dad, the shirt. It's killing me," he gestured to his father's chest, which was covered in a red shirt patterned with bright yellow pineapples, blue ocean waves and surfboards of varying sizes in a repeated pattern somewhat reminiscent of a kaleidoscope, "I won't be able to blink for an hour."

Henry sighed, "Knock it off, Shawn. I just came by to see if you were heading into the station today."

"The Chief hasn't called us with a case yet, but we might drop by anyway, why?"

"Just tell Carlton that I can't make it fishing tomorrow, I'm having the boat repaired."

"Why don't you just call him? You have a cell phone."

"You know I hate using that thing, Shawn. Will you just give him the message?" Henry grouched.

Shawn shrugged, "yeah, sure."

"Okay, thank you," Henry nodded, heading back out the door, "I'll see you later."

Shawn nodded and he and Gus waited until the door had shut before turning back around to see Stephani crawling out from beneath Shawn's desk, re-adjusting her clothes when she was standing.

"Under other circumstances, that would be totally hot." Shawn murmured.

Gus just gave him a long-suffering look and then turned back to their visitor, "What was that all about?"

"Um…nothing," Steph shrugged, "I dropped my pen." She looked down and grabbed a ball point pen off Shawn's desk. "See? Got it."

Shawn and Gus looked at each other and Shawn made a sound like a game show buzzer, "Aaaahn. Wrong answer. Please try again."

Stephani rolled her eyes, "Fine. Your dad hates me, okay?"

Shawn scoffed and Gus laughed slightly, "Shawn's dad hates everybody."

Steph shook her head, stepping out from behind the desk, "no no no no no, you don't understand. I mean he actually _hates_ me."

_TBC_ -_ So, interested in more?_


End file.
